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When You Ask a Girl for a Date:
Your First Email to a TS Girl.

By- MichaelTSG

Guys, are you looking to date a TS girl? When you ask a girl for a date, there is a list of things to do, and things not to do. This is a practical guide to sending that first email to a TS girl, when you are exploring whether to ask a girl for a date.

You are definitely going to strike out with your TS girl if you don't provide her with the style she wants to see and enough information on which to base a decision. When you ask a girl for a date, you need to meet certain expectations. Among them are:

  • Name.
  • Location.
  • Age.

When you ask a girl for a date, don't just send an email that says something moronic like, "I think you're hot." It's sexually suggestive and not appropriate to send to a TS girl who is seeking a relationship. She is going to immediately assume you are just looking for sex. If that's all you want, probably you're better off hiring a shemale escort. You can find plenty of those at AOL and Yahoo chatrooms.

I threw out to our chatroom the issue of what to include (and not to include) in a guy's first email to a girl. The remarks below are part of the frenzied feedback I received.

"No sex talk in the first email. No marriage proposals, either," said one girl.

"Most of us women do not want to get married on the first date," Sandra said.

No TS girl seeking a relationship wants a man who is married or already in a relationship. "Be single," one TS girl said in chat, "I don't want to hear about your problems with your wife and how she doesn't understand you."

Rhonda said, "Not have someone profess their undying love for you the first time you chat to them, it's so insincere." Let's not assume the TS girl you're writing to is dimwitted and stupid.

"Never ask in a first email if they travel to meet a guy," Alison said. It's trolling and it won't work.

Some who ask a girl for a date try the overly familiar approach. Wrong.

"It is really annoying when someone sends you an email and acts like they've known you their whole life, and you're like, 'Who is this person?'" said one TS girl.

Miyako took that notion and ran with it. "Mushy stuff in a first email is too overboard. It says to me, 'I'm pretending to be someone or something I'm not and/or lying about feelings now and probably always will."

Sandra again: "I am so tired of first emails I get that are too personal, like do I care if this guy is sexy?"

Don't get weird. Miyako again: "I think a first email should be like a handshake at a party or something. You do not meet someone at a party who says, 'I have a huge dick,' or 'Would you like to meet my dog Fluffy?' Or, 'What light doth through yonder window break, it is thee, mine sun, whom doth light the fire of mine lonely existence,' or anything like that."

And it's not just about the opening email, either, Daniel pointed out. "Someone who wants to get married after a weekend together, that's a bit much, too."

When you write to a TS girl or ask a girl for a date, you create an expectation of an expeditious response if she's interested. If she finds you interesting, you don't want to take a long time to reply. One girl pointed out that if you don't check email very often, you should say so. "Don't leave a girl hanging," she warned.

Truth matters to most any TS girl or GG. When you ask a girl for a date, get to the point and be honest. Honesty encompasses a number of aspects.

  • Be honestly single.
  • Don't send an old picture of yourself or a fake picture.

One TS girl recommends you include in your first email some practical communications information.

"Send along IM info like AIM, MSN Messenger, YIM contact info and/or phone number," she said, "because it's hard to have a good conversation via email."

In your first email to a TS girl, it's a good idea to send along a picture of yourself. With clothes on. A recent picture, not something from 1988

"I hate it when guy send me photos of themselves nude," one TS girl in our chatroom said.

Melissa added: "And I don't want some guy I've sent a pic to begging for more pics. I hate that." Come on, fella, are you going to ask a girl for a date or are you just collecting pictures to whack off to? If you behave like a pic collector, you will be treated like a pic collector.

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Pets, it turns out, can be problems in pictures. It's fine to send along pics of yourself, your residence, and even you in the same picture with your pet, but avoid separate pics of your pets.

"I stay away from lonely guys with big dogs," said one TS girl. The consensus in the chatroom is, definitely no pic of just the dog. Why? Several girls said they worry the dog will be more important to him than she is.

The TS girl you write to wants to know about you, not your ex-wife or ex-girlfriend.

"I don't want to hear about the details of your last relationship," Melissa said.

"I do not want to be compared to the person that rejected them before," Alison added.

"Someone who tells me their emotional drama in the first email is pretty much out of there," Mike in Chicago added, from the male perspective.

Then there is the matter of other experiences with transsexual women.

"I really don't care to hear that he was with a TS once before and enjoyed and that she was an escort he met in a bar," Alison said. "Or that he is curious to be with a TS and see what it's like."

"I don't want to hear that every other TS he ever dated used him for everything he had," Sandra added.

If it is obvious that she is a TS girl seeking a relationship, there is no point in appearing clueless. Cluelessness does not score points. Alison observed, "By all means don't start your email off by asking 'Are you a TS?'"

Be sensitive to the meaning of your words when you ask a girl for a date. Sandra says, "If they want to communicate it's a good idea to get the terminology right. When they say they usually only date girls, that's an insult. And if they say they are not gay, they do not get it at all. And never mention the word 'shemale' in an email."

Most any TS girl seeking a relationship is looking for a straight guy who likes women. But it is a sad fact that many of the emails directed at TS women are from guys looking for a penis. If that's what you want, you are probably making a mistake to approach most TS women about it.

"You have no idea how many guys have asked if you still have 'it' and if it gets hard. They not only don't get a reply, they get added to my junk mail filter list," said Rhonda.

"The main thing is they need to treat us like the women we are, not as some strange sex toy or oddity for them to play with," Alison added.

Guys, do realize that a lot of the TS women at this website are acquainted with each other. If you send the same or similar email out to many girls and they find out about it, and it is very likely that they will, you will leave the wrong impression.

"I've got friends, don't email me the same letter you mailed them," Melissa warned. "Actually when I find out a guy has emailed another girl I know, I don't talk to him. If he's just interested because my profile says TS or pre-op or whatever, then he's really not interested in ME."

Mike in Chicago explained, "When I send an email to someone, it's straight to the point. I say where I found out about them, my website address, and that I found them interesting and to ask if they would like to talk." That's direct, to the point, and without any phony, too-early romantic nonsense.

The bottom line when asking a girl for a date, or just exploring the possibility of doing so, is to be clear, honest and provide enough information about yourself so that you stand out from the crowd in a way that is interesting and appealing.

"They should make themselves sound interesting and honest and tell us something that would make us want to respond," Alison said.

Melissa added: "I would like to see a bit of his personality, what he is really looking for."

So guys just be yourselves. After all, if you do develop a relationship with this TS girl, she will have to deal with the real you. If you feed her some prepackaged image you've concocted, she will find out about it soon enough and she won't be happy about it. Just tell her what you want, what you're all about, and what you would like to do on a first date.

I reserve all publication rights on this article, but feel free to forward it to anyone you like. Copyright 2003, all publication rights reserved.

Homepage for Transgender & Transexual Dating
Ask a Girl for a Date: Your First Email to a TS Girl
Bad Date Story: What a Putz! What NOT to do on a Date
Bisexual Guys & the Transsexual Female
Can't Find a Girlfriend? Get a New Girlfriend! Consider a Transsexual Woman
Dating a Transwoman: My Adventures & Some Advice
Great Boyfriend: Admirers & TS Girls, a TS Chatroom Survey
Having Sex With a Transsexual Woman: How to Make Love With the Transsexual Female
Helpful Hints to Meeting a Trans Girl
How to Date the Pre-Op Transsexual Woman
Jerry Springer Show: Their Invitation to Appear in a Transsexual Episode
Male Bashing: Man Bashing Behavior is Unacceptable in Chat
MTF Transsexual: Growth as a Woman
Post-Op Transsexual: A Post-Op TS Need Not be Dateless
Pre-Op TS in the Boyfriend Hunt
Romance Online: An Emotional Survival Guide
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T-Girls as Women: Your T-Girl Should be a Happy Girl
TGirls Letters - TGirl Feedback to Us
Transgender Dating: Less Than a Woman?
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Transsexual Girls & the TS Website: A History of TSGirlfriend.com
Transsexuals & Our Chatroom: Meeting Transsexuals Without Looking Stupid
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TS Women & the First Date
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When, Why & How to Tell Him That You're a Transsexual
Why Men Run from Relationships With Transsexual Ladies & What to Do About It

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The topic of this page is how to ask a girl for a date: Your first email to a TS girl.