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Approach personal ads with caution. You don't know this transwoman advertiser. She may be misrepresenting herself. What she put in her ad may be some fantasy that she has about herself and it may bear little resemblance to reality. I know one transwoman who placed a misleading personal ad. She used a fake name and posted her age as 10 years younger than I know her to be. She really believes that she looks that much younger. Guys will agree with her just because they want to get into her panties.
The truth is, her photographs required work in Photoshop to erase or diminish deep lines and lots of wrinkles. The truth is, she looks her age. Don't believe your own propaganda, people.
Some personal ads that you're looking at may not be sincere. Maybe that sweet-sounding transwoman who is looking for love is actually looking for money, property or a way to escape poverty, such as in the Philippines. Keep your wits about you in the early stages. If she's asking for favors or money, walk away (unless you don't care and have cash to burn.)
When it comes time for the first meeting, invite her to lunch or dinner at a nice restaurant. You can suggest a place, but since women are the ones who get pursued, let her choose where to meet. Safety will be on her mind. With any luck at all, you will have a fun conversation and be able to share experiences, and will part on a positive note.
Immature mind in a mature body
But if you get one of those post-date turn-downs (like I did, "overcontrolling and insensitive"), and if you genuinely feel she's off the mark, don't take it personally. There is one big issue with transsexual women that's addressed elsewhere on the TSGirlfriend.com website. Usually, transwomen were not raised as women. In most cases, decades will pass before transitioning, and so you may be dealing with, say, a 40-year-old woman with the expectations and experience level of a teenager.
Over the years, I have encountered many TS's who possess unrealistic expectations and who are way oversensitive to some things when compared to natal females. Their feelings and beliefs have not yet been tempered by experience and the passage of time. They were not raised by women as women and thus lack perspective. This lack of maturity can easily lead to making erroneous judgments, and thus to unhappiness.
The "princess syndrome" is a good example of immaturity, and I have run into this a few times: "You must cater to my every whim else I shall pay no attention to you." Oh lord, give it a rest. What mature man wants to date someone who acts like a freakin' 14-year-old girl? A worthy response to that would be: "Hannah Montana is on and you're missing it."
Men are lunkheads
Really. We truly are. Most of us have a clue as to who and what we are, but generally we don't dwell on the philosophical aspects. We don't intellectualize it. There's an old joke that says all men want is beer, football, food and sex. To some degree, that's true.
We like what we like, and we don't like what we don't like. Women can find out everything they need to know about men in the Mars/Venus books by Dr. John Gray. We are simple creatures. Most of us don't have a high tolerance for stupid bullshit. When a woman slaps us with the likes of the princess syndrome, we roll our eyes and leave. And then the princess sticks the blame on us for not recognizing her oh-so-special qualities.
We may be lunkheads -- it's a genetic guy thing -- but we aren't stupid. Most of us recognize bullshit when we see it.
Transwomen should be mentored by genetic females in the ways of femininity, not by other transsexuals, and certainly not by so-called "transgender women" (read: cross dressers.) Doing so will who only serve to reinforce their unrealistic expectations. I'm laughing as I write this. The question that came to mind was: "Do you want to be a woman or a parody of a woman?"
If you're routinely failing at relationships, look inward.
Identifying important qualities
If you put a 40-year-old genetic woman side by side with a 40-year-old transsexual who transitioned five years previously, I assure you the genetic female will have a better grip on what she considers important in a man, and will be far more successful at identifying those qualities.
If you're quite sure there's nothing going on with you that would justify a negative response on the part of a transwoman, it could be a simple lack of chemistry. Or maybe it's bad judgment, immaturity or "Unknown Factor X" on her part. Just move on. If it's any of the latter, most likely, she has lessons to learn, and unless she's asking you to teach her, you'll be better off with someone else.
Remember, she may be single for a very good reason!
Copyright 2010, by the author, all publication rights reserved.
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Why Men Run from Relationships With Transsexual Ladies & What to Do About It
The topic of this page is dating a transwoman, some adventures and advice..