TGirls Letters - TGirl Feedback to Us
Our TGirls Letters section is devoted to feedback we receive. The most recent letters appear at the top.
TGIRLS AN IMPROVEMENT?
I found you article very helpful. I am an attractive single man in and out of relationships. Divorced once with two beautiful kids. I have found being single easier than dating, but I want romance. Women and the way they think piss me off. I'm thinking this may be the way for me to go, but how do I go about finding the right girl?
--Baffled in the bay.
TGIRL IS ASKED:
GONNA LOSE THE DICK?
Thank you for your informative website.
I was wondering if you could help me with an issue I am having. I've met a guy online and we've been communicating great via email for a few days. Everything seems okay and he seems very understanding about how I haven't begun my transition much yet and that I'm in my early stages of transition. He seems very mature (he is 49) and is happy to wait before we meet. However. Suddenly, in a recent email he sent me this:
"...I find that it's not uncommon at all...although it may initially draw an extra stare or look. I guess I have found it a special circumstance, totally acceptable to me and quite irrelevant...in terms of whether I like the individual or not. Do you still enjoy erections? And cum in the 'normal' way? May I ask, and I know its early days for you yet...but how far do you intend to take your transition? Total surgery? Or all, but?
"I should mention that I'm a guy who enjoys the company and passiveness of a woman, but love and enjoy anal sex...also oral. I do understand that there is a transition you will go through, I hope you will let me be with you through that. So what do you do for gratification?"
He mixed in the phrases in bold amidst the fairly normal conversation... should I be worried? it seems very weird that he would change so quickly into sex talk from conversations that had little to do with the subject. I'm not sure if this is a red flag that something is wrong or that I'm just overreacting. All the other emails he sent had no mention of sex at all. What should I do?
I spoke with him on messenger after he sent me his email and I only answered his question about transition and surgery. I just avoided the other questions.
Thank you and regards,
I just read you article entitled, "How To Date A Pre-Op Transsexual Woman." It was great, and it answered many questions. I was happy to discover that I am a rarity: A straight guy who is open to dating a transsexual, pre-op, non-op, or post-op. This is one of the benefits of growing up in liberal Southern California, I suppose. I have found that the uber-femininity exuded by the transsexuals I've met really lights my masculine fire.
I have a question, though. It's about "shemale escorts." In your article you said "Pay an escort for some fun. If he wants to get something real going, then forget about the escorts. Why forget about them? Those girls get lied to every hour of every day and have heard it all. They aren't likely to believe that the average Joe asking for a simple date is serious. For most, the gateway to getting to know them is to first become a client."
The question is this: What are these girls in it for? I mean, it can't just be the money, can it? Certainly there has to be a better way to make a living...one that doesn't extract such a high emotional toll.
I'm not naïve. I certainly understand that the nature of their work requires a hard shell and a great deal of emotional distancing, but I find it hard to believe that an escort doesn't have, at some level, the desire to be cherished by a someone. Yes, it might be nothing more than a "Pretty Woman" fantasy for them, but to varying degrees all women nurture this dream. Is an escort immune from this, or have they just given up any and all hope of its realization?
I just wanted to say thank you so much for your website.
A girl I'm really quite fond of just told me she's transgender yesterday. I've known her for the past year or so and I knew I really liked her as a person, but something must have clicked and we sort of hit it off recently. She told me after we've been sort of testing each other's compatibility over MSN with jokes/opinions/deep thoughts/silliness/politics, etc. Flirting but with bits of seriousness.
I had made it clear that I wanted to be with her by that point, and she actually welcomed me unlike just about every other girl out there I've fell for hopelessly. I'd just revealed part of my shadowy past to her and so asked about hers. So she said that that was a topic that we needed to talk about actually. I'd be lying of course if I said I took it without breaking my stride, but I didn't freak out or anything. Still, it did throw my world completely on its head.
I've never ever considered having a relationship with a Tgirl. It was a new one, LOL. I still wouldn't, but damn it I like her, I don't wanna just give up. So yeah, we talked, she opened herself up to any questions I had, and I asked what I could think of and we carried on talking some more. And whereas it could have gone a lot, lot worse, as a straight guy, penises are just inherently very offputting to me (she's pre-op, but having the operation next summer, not allowing for apparently inevitable delays), and there's all the pressure of society and the outside world too.
So I spent all of work today thinking about things, letting the ideas settle, seeing what I felt and what I wanted to do. By the end of the day, I'd decided I wanted to give it a go. I knew it'd be difficult though, and I didn't know what sort of pressures and problems were going to show up along the way. For one thing, I had little to no idea of how the physical part would work (sex wasn't the most pressing question I had before, and I'm actually a virgin so I'm nervous about it at the best of times, let alone with a transsexual person!)
Anyway, once I got back home, I wanted affirmation, reassurance that it could work out so as to calm the very worried feeling I had in the back of my head. So I typed, "what's it like to be in a relationship with a transsexual girl" into good ole Google and despaired at first because it looked like everything was about how to meet or chase one, not how to date one. So, disappointedly, without any expectations of anything but another cheap perverted sex dating site the Internet loves so much, I clicked on the top result, which was you.
I gotta say, to start with, it's definitely misleading. Although maybe that's why it works? It's clever. And hopefully other people in my position will stick with it enough to see how good it is. It really gave me the help I needed; the helpful articles and testimonials are amazing. The depth of questions I had was deeper than I realized, and even the ones that don't really apply to me made me see parts of the bigger picture of what it's like for T girls, and where in this society my girl fits.
It just made me feel a whole lot better about everything. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for maintaining such a good-natured, helpful and useful site :)
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