TGirls Letters - TGirl Feedback to Us
Our TGirls Letters section is devoted to feedback we receive. The most recent letters appear at the top.
WHAT THE GUYS NEED
I just ran into your site and it sounds nearly too good to be true! Just what guys out there seem to need given their ignorance of many TS issues; I was impressed by the good work and I do hope you keep it like that.
Could you please add my email address to your list of TS girls looking for long-term relationships? I am a crossdresser at this point, hoping to start hormones sometime this year, I was born in '66 and I live in Ontario, Canada.
Thank you so much and keep up the good work!
All the best,
VIDEO STAR OFFERS HELP
If you all think that all men are dogs that can be "trained," all you are doing is keeping up the cycle that has remained for centuries. Have you ever thought that the dogs may be coming from a certain group of men who have no class about them? Please take in mind that class and money are two different entities entirely. A person can be the poorest man/woman on earth and still have more class than Bill Gates ever dreamed of having. It is all within the rearing of a child that determines what he is as an adult. It cuts me deep to hear or read someone's writing that says all men are dogs that have not been trained properly.
I address people in two ways, no matter if they are male, female, transgender, TS, pre- or post-op, lesbian or gay. Either sir or ma'am, if a person is a pre- or post-op, TS or TG and they are in the M-to-F process then they are a ma'am in my book and thus I treat them as such. To say that all men treat a TS (all others included) different as they would treat a born female is totally wrong. And yeah I do take this to great offense.
Personally I would date either a GG or a TS, however I have not dated a TS. Why? Most come off hateful (and now I see why), others just want money or are totally out of my league. I am an extremely romantic and tender male, and there is nothing more that I enjoy doing than to put the woman I am with on cloud nine at all times of her day. And no, not by just sex, sex is not everything, but the loving feeling is. I will send flowers unexpectly, romantic candle-lit nights, painting my woman's toes for her, washing her hair, the little things that just let them know.
So as you can
see, not all are like you stated "trainable" and no I was never
trained, I have been this way since I first started dating. Hopefully
this has been an eye opener for you.
I'm a heterosexual male in California. Thanks for your Internet note about the increased interest from men that you've encountered since becoming post-op. Your experience illustrates that, contrary to popular mythology, many straight men like me seek relationships with truly post-op TG women. Why? Because we like women with courage who know themselves and value themselves enough to do what they need to do, no matter how much disapproval "society" throws their way. It's a trait called integrity. And it's sexier than any bodily feature, because it lasts. So good for you!
DANGERS OF WHAT OTHERS THINK
Thank you very, very much for your excellent article, "How to Date a Pre-Op Transsexual Woman" and also for several other articles on your website. I have myself dated seriously with a lovely T-girl now for six months. And your articles have given me lots of fresh and new information. I really enjoyed reading your essays!
However, on the basis of my own experience, I would encourage you to proceed even further to this issue. When a man is involved with a T-girl in the beginning of the relationship, most of your topics are very current to him. Although we can assume that everything can be OK between these two (because they are in love), the psychosocial environment and social network may pose a threat to the man and his everyday life contacts. Especially when his mate is in the middle of the transition process (maybe officially a male identity, name, etc.), the man may face remarkable social pressure because he -- who is a straight guy -- may feel that he will be stigmatized to have a bizarre libido and even a gay identity. A pressure of this kind may emerge from the family or relatives, etc.
Additionally, this is a true risk to the relationship when they live in a not-so-large-community where there are always groups of people sitting in the corner gossiping. Probably many men with a T-girlfriend would appreciate exchanging experiences about these issues. Any hints for a forum like this in the website?
Thank you for your valuable work!
LADY IN MIAMI BEACH
dated a TG woman in NYC for almost a year. It was a wonderful relationship
but it ended. Since then I have moved to Miami Beach, but here I have
not found where the TG women frequent. The only ones I have found have
been prositutes, which I am not interested in. I read your article and
I agree that most men do not treat TG women correctly (I can happily say
I am not one of those). Could you tell me where in Miami Beach I could
possibly meet some nice TG women?
I just wanted to thank you for this wonderful website.A friend posted your link in a chatroom I was in. I am a 44-year-old transsexual woman living in the middle of nowhere. Thank you for your site and all the great links. Hugs and kisses.
ONLY LOVED WOMEN
I loved your article, but I think there is one more person that has to be added to your profile of men that are attracted to post-op girls. I'm a man that is full of empathy and understanding. I'm also a very strong believer in second chances in life. I believe that no matter where we began it doesn't have to dictate where we end.
always been attracted to women based purely by face and their brains,
so it's hard for me not accept what's below the neck. I have never thought
of myself of being gay or bisexual because I've only ever loved women,
but that acceptance wasn't limited by gender at birth. Thanks once again
for reading this and for your article.
For starters, I have to say your site is excellent and very informative. I agree with most of what you wrote and have a couple of points to make about an issue or two that I disagree with.
You quoted: "When you ask a girl for a date, don't just send an email that says something moronic like, 'I think you're hot.' It's sexually suggestive and not appropriate to send to a TS girl who is seeking a relationship."
While you have a very valid point on one hand, on the other, let's face it, what's the first thing you notice about a girl? Her looks! This is online dating. It's not like you can compliment her on her voice or stride or the way she tosses her hair. Would you even bother to contact someone you weren't physically attracted to? OK, you could change "hot" for "beautiful," but my point is the same. In addition, whereas we wouldn't want to treat someone like a whore, we wouldn't necessarily treat them like a puritan, either.
I have dated both GG's and TS's over the years and have known many more of each gender (that I haven't dated but remained friends with) through my photography business. Models of both genders tend to be flakes (my main reason for not dating them). But in general, I would have to say that TS's are far more sexually explicit than GG's. Maybe it's because they know what they want and don't have to put up the facade that many GG's do, or maybe it's for other reasons.
Another point I have to agree with is with Tom's concerns on your Dating Advisor page. I too live in the L.A. area and what he states about the clubs is dead on. (One club, name deleted) is TS hooker heaven. I know some of the girls from having taken their pictures so I don't get hit on as much by the rest of the hookers, but buying a TS a drink will inevitably lead to the money proposition a few minutes later. Yes, there are probably three TS's that are there to have a good time and see the show and maybe meet somebody, but they are hard to find among the other 75 who are there to pay their rent.
A funny comment I read was from a TS stating that she or her friends would never date a lonely guy with a big dog because the dog would be more important to him than she would. Well, I'm not a lonely guy by any stretch, but my Saint Bernard is important to me, yet probably not any more so than her cat or Yorkie. Let's face it, they're our family. It's far worse to date a woman that has a child.
One last thing and this time it's a question, you have a contact page for TS's who are looking for boyfriends, yet other than the state they're in, there is no further information. Does this really work? How hard would it be to have a small Yahoo-type profile with a picture or two, the CITY (if I'm in L.A., I'm not planning on having a relationship with someone in San Francisco or Sacramento), their age, and maybe a short list of likes and dislikes. I'm not dumb, I copied and pasted some of the email addresses into AOL and looked them up. But it's a pain in the neck and worse when you find out that many had no profile page, or had one picture and no text. I don't know, it's just a thought.
Again, I think your site is excellent and should be mandatory reading for TS's and those wishing to date them. I wish you best of luck.
Yes the Transsexuals Seeking Relationship page does work. I appreciate your remarks about it, but this is a free site, there is only so much time we are going to devote to maintaining free ads, by necessity. Please do check out our Profiles group on MSN. People can post their pictures and personal info there.
TGirls, let the guys who contact you know about this website. Please run a link to our homepage, or to any page you find of importance.
Got something to say? Email Katie: firstname.lastname@example.org
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