TGirls Letters - TGirl feedback to us

TGirls Letters - TGirl Feedback to Us

February, 2010

Our TGirls Letters section is devoted to feedback we receive. The most recent letters appear at the top.

IRRATIONAL TGIRLS MAKING HIM CRAZY
Subject: Problem with Tgirls.
Date: 2/25/2010 12:05:37 A.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

I have one major complaint with transgender women: Many are flakes. You talk to them and then they disappear. Like online, I will send a message, then they respond, I then respond, and maybe they respond or just disappear into the Internet limbo.

It drives me crazy. I try my best to be honest, open, respectful, and more. I did not mention sex or exes but it stills drive me crazy. Even GG women do the same thing, but they are more up front when not interested.

Can you help?

Thanks,

--Blaine.

IS THIS TGIRL PLAYING A GAME?
Subject: Hi, question of concern
Date: 2/22/2010 6:17:16 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi Michael,

I recently found the website, tsgirlfriend.com. I have a question and am not sure who to talk to. I noticed your "Dating Advisor" section and thought maybe you can shed some light on my situation, or maybe give your opinion.

I met someone online over a year ago. We hit it off right away. One thing different than most situations is that she mentioned that she was transsexual, it didn't concern me at all, as long as it didn't change anything between us. So we've been talking for about 18 months now.

Things started slowly, just talking about friendly things. We started chatting on MSN, then sending pics to each other, and for the least year, using MSN to webcam chat. She asked for my address and sent me something for my birthday, and I was very touched. So since then we've been exchanging letters and packages, etc.

I'm living in Toronto, Canada, at the moment, and she's in Milan, Italy. I've planned a whole Euro-trip thing with my friends, and we'll be spending the entirety of July and August in Europe. I planned to spend at least two weeks with her in Milan. She was so into the idea. Here's what bothers me, though. I asked if we could talk on the phone, since we've done every single type of chat, and even video chat, for thousands of hours, so I assumed phone would be nothing. But she downright refuses and ALWAYS changes subject. This hurt and confused me.

She is pre-op, so I'm starting to think that maybe she is shy of how her voice sounds. She looks beautiful on cam and in pics, so I'm very confused. I told her, "How could I come see you in Italy if you don't even what to talk on the phone? How are we going to hang out, take you to dinner, etc.? This confuses me." So she just ignores me 'til I talk about something else. If talking on the phone, and now talking about going to see her comes up, she goes on ignore/awkward mode.

I feel as though I don't know what's going on. Is this a trick? Is she genuinely shy/concerned/something else? I'm just really confused because we both said we loved each other, but to only really take it seriously once we met. But to be honest, I'd marry her. I'm not going to say it to her until we've been together in person a long while, but she has my heart.

So I really need to figure out what this phone business is because I've invested so much in her emotionally (I could care less about the money, etc., that I've spent), that I know it will take a long while to get over her if I had to. I'm starting to think that maybe randomly falling for someone online may have been the biggest mistake of my life.

Any thoughts, good sir? I'm dreadfully concerned.

Thanks for your time.

--Mark.

MATURE TGIRL IS BACK IN THE DATING POOL
Subject: Dating.
Date: 2/22/2010 2:30:13 A.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi,

My name is Mysti. I have been full time for about eight years and had not had much success with any meaningful relationship. Mostly, they have been one- or two-nighters.

I am retired and age 60 but look in my 40s and act young, and most importantly I feel young. I am sick of one-time meetings. Now that I am retired, I am going to spend more time trying to find that special man.

Thanks,

--Mysti.

TGIRL SAYS ARTICLE IS POINTLESS
Subject: Your new article.
Date: 2/21/2010 3:36:32 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

I read your new article about why men run away from TS women. To me, it makes no sense and it's pointless.

Honestly, just being honest, there is not a rulebook out there. If the man is insecure then let him be. I have been out and about before and after transitioning never had a problem with men I have dated.

The best thing to do is find them outgoing and secure, those are the best catches. I say no one has to stand by someone that has insecurities, no?

As to the older men, I personally like them older than me, at least 10 years older. Those are the worst ones to date. One may say, well, he is older and knows what he likes. I've always said if the man is over 40 and single, we have a problem.

--Itzayana.

TGIRL IS STILL IN THE HUNT
Subject: Catinuk.
Date: 2/13/2010 9:16:49 A.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hello there.

I have rejoined your website again in the hope of finding a decent man.

I was on several "straight" sites the last few years and was not really impressed with them, and then there was always the issue of what to say about a past that some men freak out at. I had SRS 30 years ago, and when young it was not such an issue for me. (I just did not tell them unless it got serious.)

Now in my 50s, I feel really uncomfortable about having that sort of conversation with men.

I had been on your site before, so because this email address was already registered, I had to use my alternate as it gave me no option as to retrieving passwords or member names.

Yours,

--Cathryn.

NOW SEEKING A TGIRL IN THE BAY AREA
Subject: Re: Terminology question?
Date: 2/12/2010 12:01:28 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: TSgirlfriend4me@aol.com

I love where no one from the GLBT community lives, but the good news is that I am moving to the San Francisco Bay Area next month. I love your website, it really helps me in so many ways to feel like I am not alone, and that there might be someone out there for me.

Also, the way you say things reflects my thoughts perfectly but couldn't put into words. Thanks for your site.

--Blaine, Egypt.

GIVE UP TGIRLS? HE'S THINKING ABOUT IT
Subject: Advice.
Date: 2/9/2010 2:05:44 A.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Should I give up and go back to GG's?

I'm attracted to Tgirls, and have been ever since I had an LTR with one that lasted from 1995 until she was tragically killed in a car accident in 2006. After almost four years of grieving (I was deeply in love with her), I feel that I'm ready to get back on the proverbial horse and love again.

Tgirls seem to understand me as a man while GG's only see me as a walking ATM or some disposable guy that can be tossed to the side when someone with more money and better looks comes along, so I really don't want to go back to GG's. But it is hard to meet a TS that's not an escort, or someone trying to give a cam show.

I've tried Internet dating sites only to be charged large amounts of money only to be basically ignored, and I've even tried social networking sites. I've even been on TSG chat and have had no success. The last straw was when I met a TS online. We talked and things were going great until I made the mistake of asking her out for coffee, not as in a date but as two friends going out for coffee. Nothing sexual was ever implied and I thought I was being a gentleman about it.

She was okay with it until I honored her request for me to send her a picture. I was then called an "idiot nigger" (I'm black, she's white). Now, usually I am nowhere near sensitive about race, so it didn't offend me per se, but it just added to my frustrations. I'm just tired.

--M.E.

LOST AMID TGIRL DESIRES IN JAPAN
Subject: Lost and looking for answers.
Date: 2/8/2010 2:51:29 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hello, my name is Will. I was hoping I could get some help/advice from you. My situation is…difficult. I'm sorry I'm writing this after working a 13-hour shift LOL so please excuse me. I'll just be honest.

I'm 25 in the military and stationed in Japan. I have always been bi and I have always been very interested in Tgirls. I have had one failed relationship after another, the last of which ending in divorce. I'm a very sensitive person, and it seems women want to use me and men are always too masculine for me. My other "wishful" option seems all but impossible being in Japan and military.

I would very much like to pursue a relationship with a Tgirl but I don't know how in my present situation. I'm a very girly sometimes and I admit I expect too much out of people especially in a relationship, but I think that's only because I always feel like I'm the only one trying.

Maybe you can help me or guide me, or maybe I'm just talking out myself and won't get an answer, but either way at least thank you for listening. Just getting to say this to someone helps.

--Will.

BAREBACK & WITHOUT LUBE
Subject: How to Make Love With the Transsexual Female.
Date: 2/5/2010 2:31:47 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Thank you very much for your article! I'm 58 years old, a divorced hetero male who met a TS girl. She is non-op, and we are having a gratifying and romantic time. Last night, we decided to make love after our STD test. She doesn't want to use condom and I do agree. Her fantasy is to feel, and keep all my fluids inside her and I do agree, too.

But…she says she wants to feel hurt when I penetrate her and keep this experience in her mind for the rest of our relationship. It's her first time, in other words, and she doesn't want to use any oil, or in any case very little oil. I'm afraid of wounding her in some way.

I don't want her to bleed our first time. She is so happy about this that I don't want to disappoint her. Is it dangerous in some way? If in some way she is wounded, do we have to go to a clinic? Or could it be something we can handle in private?

Congratulations for your site. It has been a great help in my TS experience with Elena.

Thank you.

--Roberto.

THE TGIRL BOOK IS IN PROCESS
Subject: From Madison Claire.
Date: 2/4/2010 3:08:31 A.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hiya, Michael~

Thanks for the email. Yes, I'm familiar with your site. Great work -- and thank you. I've actually thought about starting a web dating service of my own (I used to own several advertising agencies in the SE USA), but I just didn't think I had the energy. LOL. Still, I'm glad people like you are out there trying to help "the cause," as it were.

I'm in the process of working with my agent now in search of the right publishing house to bring this book to market in the "right way" (read: Major way). Could I maybe contact you if I need some stats, a quote or two, etc., as I put the finishing touches on the manuscript?

Either way, thanks again. And best wishes to you and yours in 2010. ;-)

--Madison Claire.

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The topic of this page is the Tgirls letters - the tgirl feedback we get.