TGirls Letters - TGirl feedback to us

TGirls Letters - TGirl Feedback to Us

January, 2010

Our TGirls Letters section is devoted to feedback we receive. The most recent letters appear at the top.

TGIRL IS IMPRESSED
Subject: Your article.
Date: 1/30/2010 10:00:26 A.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hello,

Not sure this will find you, but I just wanted to tell you I was impressed with it! Glad there are a few men out there who get it. LOL

--Katie.

WHAT TO DO?
Subject: Terminology question.
Date: 1/27/2010 5:47:25 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

I am a straight/bi male that loved to date women whether they are GG or TS, but I have hard time saying that without sounding rude. I am attracted to the women, not what’s between their legs.

But I also like to please my partner. If she wants me to touch and do more to her, I am willing because I know it gives her pleasure. But I don't want to sound like a man seeking sex.

Another problem, if I find a woman attractive, I say so but on your website you noted that it she may think I want sex. Well, I am a guy and sex is something I want in a good relationship, but it is not the first thing, nor is it the last. How do you approach a woman (online or offline) and not offend her?

Also the term "tranny chaser." I know it is a derogatory statement but so is a skirt chaser but not as bad. Hey, I like a good looking woman that dresses up sexy, of course I am going to be attracted to them. But how can you tell or show a transwoman that you want her for more than one thing, you want her for everything?

I have some experience in dating transsexuals. I dated a beginning pre-op until she got her boobs and she dumped me for a guy that had money. I stood by her and supported her and was there when she need me for almost anything. I was the guy she called to pick her up and nurse her back after the surgery.

I have also dated some drag queens but they were kind of turn-off because I only saw them as women and wanted them dressed all the time. Many of my friends over the years loved to hang out with me because I treated all of them with respect and ALWAYS as women. But how to I tell a new woman that without sounding like I am boasting? But after moving away the SF Bay Area kind nixed that.

I am a bit broke now and live in an area that offers few opportunities to meet women. Do you have any suggestions?

I love to read your site over and over again but some questions have not been answered.

If you can help, thanks.

--Blaine.

KISMET WITH A LOVELY TGIRL
Subject: Dating transwomen!
Date: 1/24/2010 5:36:29 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hello Editor!

I'm a 54-year-old male with a great genetic roadmap. I look 10 to 15 years younger than I am. My entire life has been one of explaining my looks vs. actual age.

My girlfriend is also a genetic wonder. She's 44 and 16 months into HRT. We are lovers of just a few months but friends of over 25 years. As you reread the last sentence, you think, did I read that correctly or better still, did he write that correctly? I did. We have been very close friends over 25 years.

Last December 1st, we found each other after a 10-year gap in out relationship. We had both married and moved to other states. Then we both divorced. Jamie started her transition in September, 2008.

My beautiful friend is indeed only in her early 20s emotionally. She is (every day) learning to be the woman she has been inside for so long. So, what I am attempting to say is we didn't have the awkward beginning, the dating period. We met (believe this or not) in an elevator. We looked at each other with open mouths, hugged…and haven't been apart since.

If there is a handful of people in the world that has had an experience like this, I will be shocked.

Sincerely,

--Skip.

COULD BE UNDERSTOOD BY ANYONE
Subject: Very informative!
Date: 1/24/2010 1:29:49 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

I read your article and it seems to me you could be understood by anyone, from the average person to the most educated.

I knew some information, but of course I learned some more from your article. I like the way terms were used and the straight-up language! Sometimes I feel that is the only way to get point across to certain people.

It's my understanding that if you like someone, show them respect and love, and treat them the way you may want to be treated, no matter who, what or where you came from.

I think we all say, act, or have daily customs or weird habits that others may find just freakish, odd or taboo!

Thanks for the insights!

--Julio.

LET'S NOT CALL DATING A TGIRL AS "DATING"
Subject: Dating a TS.
Date: 1/19/2010 7:59:21 A.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi Michael!

It's Racerchicky aka Christina, now married. I read the article that you had posted on the site. The first thing that came to mind with being on the first date (my opinion only) is talking about her transition and boobs. If I sense that a man's main interested in sex, the date will be over fast. If I notice him looking at my chest rather than my eyes, that is a date killer, too. I AM a woman, I do not want to talk about my transition into "womanhood."

You know, Tommy and I have never talked about my past. He once told me, "Who you were means nothing to me, I see who you are now." I also think a date should not even be considered a date. The word "date" to me is means pressure. What to wear? How to act? What to say? When I met Tommy, my husband, it was in May. I wore simple jeans, light makeup and didn't have a care in the world. We met as friends without the pressures of a so-called "date."

Back when I was still in the "dating pool," I enjoyed meeting guys at a park, no lunch, no dinner, no movies. I want to spend time and focus on him and not on some movie. That could be the second meeting. Keep it simple, it's two people becoming friends, not the pressure of dating. Being a TS, it is really, really, really tough to meet someone who can be trusted with our hearts. The pre-ops have it the toughest, 99.99% of men are not looking for a relationship. Post-ops have a better chance and finding love.

It is hard for both GG's and TS women. I've been lucky in finding my guy.
Have a wonderful day.

--Christy.

CHATTING ABOUT TGIRLS
Subject: Hoping to ask some questions.
Date: 1/19/2010 2:59:10 A.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hey, I'm 19, I'm a guy, and I have some questions regarding TS women and I saw your site whilst researching things (I'm a bit of a strange person I think, I've researched a lot of things regarding sexuality for a fair while, but that doesn't explain emotions), and it brought up emotions really. Your site explained a lot of that to me, it brought up the emotions from my end and what they could mean to both me and other people.

I chose to ask you since not only did your website intrigue me, but I also saw you posting in other areas (For example, Yahoo answers, it's what actually led me to your particular site) which lead me to think that you're trying to spread the word and help more than anything, especially since you don't sell advertisement space.

I hope to speak with you over some variety of chat so I could get a back and forth between us, Although email is an option, I just feel that it would take so long and not be nearly as effective.

Thanks for reading, I hope we can speak soon.

--Brent.

IMPROVING UNDERSTANDING BETWEEN MEN & TGIRLS
Subject: Hi!
Date: 1/13/2010 6:38:28 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi!

First off, I just wanted to say that I really appreciate your website. I've been looking for a while for a site like yours, to help me understand how TS girls think and what they want. I've been bashing my head against the wall for a long time trying to understand the apparent contradictions in the TS line of thought.

I'm beginning to realize that a person's expectations and desires only seem contradictory to those who don't really understand them, a good lesson to apply to anyone :) I want to thank you for being sensitive enough to realize that although we may act like it most of the time, not all men are ignorant, sex-obsessed pigs. I look forward to learning more.

I'm a freelance writer myself, and I would really like to contribute to your site if I can (free, of course). I think that there might be some room for a sort of counter-point from a guy's perspective, and I would be honored if you'd consider a contribution. It seems to me that most TS's misunderstand guys as much as we misunderstand them (where have we heard THAT before?), and I think some counterpoint might be conducive to mutual understanding. If TS's don't know what we don't understand and no one's asking questions, then how will anyone wind up happy?

FOUND USEFUL INFO ON TGIRLS
Subject: About your site.
Date: 1/6/2010 10:36:50 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi there,

I like your site. I find it informative about women who were born male and then realized who they really are. Thanks for letting me browse.

--Elton.

IN LOVE WITH A MAN INTO TGIRLS
Subject: Article.
Date: 1/6/2010 5:50:12 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi,

I read your article on the Internet. I have nothing against TS's but I wanted to ask a question. I am in love with a man that loves to look at TS porn. He has told me that he had a sexual relationship with a TS in the past. He considers them as women and is adamant that he is not gay or bisexual.

I think if man wants someone with a penis, it is gay. I am really confused and I get jealous that he likes TS's. He likes to watch them masturbate he says 'cause you know when they are cumming and with a woman you don't. He loves me and I love him, but does this mean he is gay? I guess I just wanted a little advice to make me feel better. Thanks.

--Cindy.

RE: SEX WITH TRANSWOMEN ARTICLE
Subject: Love your website
Date: 1/5/2010 2:46:41 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: mcooley@sfaf.org
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi!

I am doing some work in HIV prevention with transwomen in San Francisco. I was reading an article on engaging in sex. I had two concerns with your advice, purely related to risk for HIV.

One is that mouthwash should be non-alcoholic (to reduce inflammation of tissue in the mouth) and also that uncircumcised men are actually at higher risk for HIV transmission due to the sensitivity of the tissue around the head of the penis (for unprotected UAI).

Thank you so much for your work!

--Michael Cooley
IPI Transgender Project Manager
Research Associate/ Stonewall Project
San Francisco, CA.

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