TGirls Letters - TGirl Feedback to Us
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TRANSSEXUALS LIVE & BREATHE
ALL MEN ARE SCOUNDRELS
Can I ask where the chatroom is?
Also, I must say that the characterization of men given on the board may be a little bit unfair; many good-looking and intelligent men are very principled, moral and sensitive, but are either ingored by women because of this, and thus feel deprived and under-appreciated, or they learned to behave in a more direct fashion because women respond to it -- with actions if not words -- in which case women are equally to blame; if few women actually responded to male insensitivity (whatever they claim), it wouldn't be around for long; and I've often seen women go bonkers over guys who are obviously just being nice to get what they want, while openly mistreating other people: and women -- like men -- who expect special treatment, deserve whatever they get -- they are the only ones to blame. Not all men are jerks, but many women flock to the ones who are, and then blame the gender rather than the individual.
As result, such sensitive men are damned whether they do or don't, by the hypocrisy of the female community, while the remaining stereotyping of men is likewise undeserved. Likewise, while a man who is thus deprived of confidence and self-esteem due to such lacking female attention might be easily tempted by a "bar trollop," a man who is seriously committed to one person can easily focus all of his affection there.
Since TS women understand this from experience, I would think it would be doubly hypocritical for them to blame men, for simply coping with the pressures which they themselves avoided altogether via switching sides (not that this was a prime motivation, but the circumstance still exists, and they ought to be more sensitive to it).
Brian's earlier E-mail:
POST-OP TS & DATING STRAIGHT MEN
quite surprised that anyone would think that a post-op TS woman would
receive fewer male dates; while this might be the perspective of a pre-op
TS woman, who are naturally attracted to the male body and its "attributes,"
this is because they probably don't share a straight man's intense interest
in the natural-looking female body and with straight sexual intercourse
-- contrary to popular belief, most men do NOT prefer oral sex or anal
intercourse over usual sexual intercourse, except for reasons of diversity
-- which is the very reason for the exotic nature of these avenues, i.e.
it is NOT the usual form of sexual expression; for most straight men,
I believe, there is no substitute in terms of a sense of intimacy or excitement.
FOR WHO THEY ARE
I know how hard it is for the girls in this lifestyle. I have dated many while living in Miami, and my heart goes out to them, they have more courage than I do, it seems. I'm not writing this as a sexist man, just a guy that thinks the transgendered world is wonderful. My dates have not been about sex, but that has come to pass. The girls want to know they are wanted, and feel love, to be talked to as a real person, and not as a porn queen. They are all so sweet and need all the friendship they can get. Thanks.
Anyway, I have a couple of TS friends, one intends to remain pre-op and one is going to go under the knife next year after her facial surgery this past spring.
My intentions are honorable, I do know some TS girls but not very many of them. I would like to meet a nice girl and see if there is a spark of our personalities together. A simple dating arrangement. This is a nice and VERY informative site. Thank you for writing it.
I just came across your website on dating transgendered women. I found your general tone about the subject as well as the general advice so dead on that it shocked me a bit.
I have seen much information on the subject in my many years and I was thrilled to see a man's perspective on this subject that had such basic fundamental truths. It is how you described it.
I was married to a wonderful man whom I lost earlier this year. I have been venturing out for socializing rarely. I have unpleasant memories of what the "TS" clubs were like years ago, you were either labeled a whore or a performer or both. Not necessarily bad things in themselves, but the choices were limited. Your options for male companionship were "johns" or junkies. I haven't been to one in ages. I fit much better into the general population but always still feel somewhat outside. The discussions of casual sex and pickups are lost on me. We must be careful who we speak to when meeting men. I am treated equally among my friends and their partners but there is always that longing for a true sense of community and sisterhood that I think as a TS woman I have never known.
I'm happy to see nowadays that there is an enlightened attitude surfacing. The dawn of a new age, in my mind. You are doing a great job here. I just wanted to say keep it up. You are helping many people you will never hear from.
You are the fine enlightened rogue, you have my thanks.
USER NAME ISSUE
I assumed, perhaps incorrectly, that this chat and site was an honorable site connecting good men with good women. After my experience, I am guessing not. Rather than learning something and getting to know me, the uneducated "gate-keeper" just shut the door and power tripped an otherwise eligible real man from your resource. No wonder many transgendered women have a hard time connecting with decent well-intentioned articulate intelligent men.
I know the fix to get into the chat room is to "use another name" -- but I think it's a little bit deceptive at this juncture. I am not malicious or wrong headed but I feel like I have been treated like some transgendered or gender-dysphoric individuals: I am being judged and shut out because of one person's ignorance and prejudice.
It really saddens me, because I was very excited about the education and information you present on your website. And I think I have a lot of information and resource to offer. My doctoral thesis related to sexual minorities and their role in community policing. As a matter of fact, based on my doctoral work I was able to secure a transgendered chair on the Portland (Oregon) Community Police Sexual Minority Roundtable. The result? We've educated many of the police officers on the street about transgendered issues and even helped re-write procedures that street cops use dealing with transgendered persons. Anyway, good luck with your ventures.
Thanks for letting me vent and reading my rant....
--Mojo (often Daddy
Mojo or Doctor Mojo), Ph.D. (Psychology).
The Room Monitors are not arrogant, unsupervised power-trippers. We have an extensive document about what is and is not allowed and how Room Monitors are to enforce policy. I am the one in charge of all Room Monitors. I am sorry you don't approve of how we handled this issue. If you care to choose an ordinary name, you will be welcome to hang out in the room.
TGirls, let the guys who contact you know about this website. Please run a link to our homepage, or to any page you find of importance.
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