TS Women & the First Date.
TS women on a first date have their expectations and concerns, like any other woman. This is an article about the first date between TS women and the men who have asked them out.
Imagine, if you will, a scene at a noisy dance club a man and a woman are dancing with each other. They had just met for the first time in person. The couple had talked online in a chatroom, and had emailed back and forth. They had even talked on the phone a few times. They are both yelling to each other, but each cannot hear what the other is saying.
The man moves closer to the lady in an effort to hear her and decides to at the same time grope her in a not-so-subtle way in a very inappropriate spot. She slaps him and walks out. She has to find her own way home because she had allowed him to pick her up at her home. Anybody know what the problem is with this picture?
All right, here is what is going on. They both have just met through the Internet. How well do they know each other? Not very well.
The first rule is for TS women and their men to meet someplace safe first, this way both parties have a way out, to get home if things do not work out. Also, they ought to meet in someplace public, such as a restaurant or other quiet place. This is very important as it allows you to talk and get to know each other better.
We threw this issue out to a group in the TSgirlfriend.com chatroom, and this is what we heard:
Dullguy said, “A date needs to be in a quiet place where people can see each other and hear each other and not feel pressured.”
MsB agreed, “I think so, it’s about getting to know each other. At least until later in the night.”
How will you know if this person on the other side of the table is worthy of dating again? Obviously talking is the key to making a relationship work out.
Also, conversations between TS women and their male dates should not be one sided or self-centered. It is important for each participant to ask questions about each other.
Another issue for
TS women is disclosure about being transsexual. If you do meet someone
from this website, obviously this disclosure is a moot issue. This topic
sparked a lot of debate.
Natlynne reflects, “I had a guy not know if I was or wasn’t, then didn’t care (when I told him). He said I looked good with a great personality.”
“Maybe, I’m just too damned honest, but I think if he didn’t know before the first date, he’d think you are deceiving him,” stated Jen again.
“I think it would be important also. I had one guy leave me in the middle of dinner. I thought he knew and he said he didn’t, he said he was uncomfortable and left,” MsB reflected sadly.
Peachy said, “I have never had one bail out yet, they all just expect an easy screw. If they know, they think they are entitled to sex on demand. They don’t respect the TG. I guess the slutty ones and the porn industry warps their thinking.”
“I’ve been fortunate that the last couple of dates had met me online and knew that I am TS from my profile,” LynnBella (me) noted happily.
Respect is also a big issue for TS women in the dating scene and this is our second rule. The gentleman should act the gentleman, treat his lady like a lady and the lady should act like a lady. Courteousness is often associated with that and of paramount importance.
Also show respect for one another. MichaelTSG, stated, “I want a bit of respect shown to me. I arrive on time, I expect her to be at the appointed location on time, or be ready on time.”
“I would expect good conversation, to be respected, not be groped, and not expect to ‘put out,’” said MsB.
Men seem to have the same expectations as the TS women, for the most part. The couple of men who were chatting that night said that most men do want to get to know their dates, but some are just looking for sex. This is aptly explained by Dullguy: “It’s an all or nothing proposition. Guys either want it right away or are very patient. No in-between. Because I am one who wants to know the woman better, I would not do anything extreme on the first date. I expect good conversation and comfort on the first date. That both individuals feel comfortable and there is laughter.”
Matt confirmed what the others said, “A first date, it's talking and getting to know each other.”
The topic of kissing and sex came up. Is it OK to kiss or have sex on the first date? It seems to be a matter of each person’s preference according to what everybody was saying.
Jen1963 noted that “I always pay my own way on a date, so I’m not obligated to put out afterwards.”
“Sex could be OK as early as the second date, but not for me,” observed Dullguy.
MsB added, “When the two of you feel it is right.”
Paulie reflected, “I don’t think a kiss is a major thing on a first date at all, though.”
The group seemed to agree that quiet places are best for a first date. What sorts of quiet places? The list includes restaurants, miniature golf, coffeehouses, museums, arts and crafts fairs or other outdoor events. Movies were mentioned, but they don't allow for conversation.
What else should not be done on a first date?
According to Melissa, “A first date should NEVER be at his place. Him telling me about his last TS girlfriend in public -- I don’t want to know.”
Paulie joked, “It's always fun to talk about old relationships on a first date.”
So, all you TS women and guys, with all this information at your fingertips be safe, be yourself, go someplace quiet, get to know your date and enjoy.
I reserve all publication rights on this article, but feel free to forward it to anyone you like. Copyright 2003, all publication rights reserved.
The topic of this page is TS Women and the First Date.